Curly Bob’s
avid fans will be surprised, (or not as the case may be), to hear that the
prison where Bob is currently serving his community service order has been the
subject of several attempted break ins.
Official
sources were saying very little yesterday. However one of our contacts inside
the jail confirmed numerous bears has been arrested while trying to get inside
the prison. It is thought they were honey addicts who can be spotted easily by
their glazed eyes and craving for anything vaguely resembling honey. They can
become desperate characters when deprived of their daily fix and are a great
nuisance to bee keepers all over France.
Sounds of
digging were heard within the prison last night. The C.R.S.,( a well known
bunch of heavies & thugs in uniform)were summoned immediately.
At 2 a.m. CET a gang of professional honey robbers,(bears
one & all) were arrested as they
emerged from their tunnel under the prison wall. A desperate struggle ensued
with bits of fur flying everywhere. It transpired they were the dreaded outfit
known as “Les Pates D’Or” (lit “The Golden Paws”). An evil bunch from the
roughest toy shops in the backstreets of Marseille. Their name is derived from their love of amber coloured honey or any other for that matter.
Our source
also confirms the French authorities are reconsidering their position regarding
the deterrent nature of the prison regime across France in the light of these
developments. Apparently one suggestion was to withdraw the provision of honey,
ice cream etc and cancel all bed time stories from French jails but this was
dismissed for fear of rioting.
Another
answer might be to grant Bob an early release, ostensibly on the grounds of
good behaviour, thus removing the glare of publicity from the prison regime.
This is being considered as we speak.
During this
furore, Bob is , as always, completely oblivious to all these concerns. He
continues with his duties at the Happy bees Honey Farm. We didn’t get him home
for Christmas after all but we are hopeful he will be back with us soon.
Meanwhile he
has emailed to wish all his fans a Happy/Honey New Year and requested I post “Farmhouse in the Luberon #4”, an oil from 2012.
Sources from inside Avignon Prison strongly suggest that our hero will be parting company with the prison and Happy bees Honey Farm in the very near future.
