Saturday 28 November 2015

Going Home!

Following the medical crisis last week Curly Bob made a miraculous recovery. Unlike previous holidays the weather was not as warm and frequently wet so Bob didn't go out much. Instead he lounged around his suite spending a lot of time on his  specially converted IPad. The music was not as loud as what I am used to and the deliveries of beer, spirits etc had dropped off.

Clearly Bob was up to something but the question was what? No doubt all would be revealed in the fullness of time. The next day all was revealed. Bob had been trawling the web to see what traffic there had been on his blog recently. The latest visitor stats indicated that Bob was nearing 10,000 blog visits.

Humility has never been one of Bob's stronger points and he announced that he would hold a party and invite virtual visitors from around the world as befits his celebrity status. Hoping that Bob didn't realise they wouldn't actually turn up I agreed and we began packing immediately.

His achievement would be celebrated by posting a painting every other day for the next year. I tried to explain that I didn't have that many images in our archive. His answer was to have me get some paint and canvases ordered during "Black Friday" weekend and start painting to meet the demand.

We bade our farewells to the Hotel de L'Horloge staff, especially the manager, as they always go out of their way to make us comfortable. On the way to the station he suggested that I post "Lonely Towers", an acrylic on canvas from 2013 to get the ball rolling.

As we rolled out of Avignon heading North, for some reason, I wondered if this might be a turning  point in our careers.

"Lonely Towers", acrylic on canvas from 2013.



Tuesday 10 November 2015

It's Touch and Go!

I was awakened early in the morning by an internal call on the hotel phone. After some fumbling and trying to open my eyes I located the handset and was greeted by Curly Bob. I have to say that despite having him as my manager for over 2 years I could barely tell it was his voice. He was calling for help so I assumed things had taken a turn for the worse. Of course I should have known better but there was no time for debating the issue.

I dressed quickly and took the lift to the top floor. Readers may wonder why I wasn't sharing a room with Bob and there are 2 good reasons for this. Firstly it would result in almost total lack of sleep  most nights. Bob would be giving me instructions endlessly. He also has more visitors than Barack Obama!

Secondly Bob feels he should stay in a suite as befits his standing( and no one else's...Ed). The minibars are much better stocked such suites. The fact that he doesn't actually pay for the room never crosses his mind.

On entering I found Bob under the sheets with just his snout on view. In a feeble voice he told me he had run out of medicine and asked would I go and get some more for him. After the unfortunate incident with Monsieur Le Docteur De La Morte ( see previous post) Bob had decided to self medicate i.e rum, honey and lemon, with the emphasis on rum and honey. I pointed out that is was now 3 a.m. local time and even the easy going French do not expect their supermarkets to open before 7 a.m. In any case I didn't think he looked that bad and he could manage until after breakfast. Bob demanded a second opinion. It was necessary to remind him that the above doctor was the only one in Avignon who was willing to treat a bear and secondly about the size of the hypodermic syringe he carried with him.

Inany case I felt it necessary to tell him that he had consumed so much rum that he was a positive fire hazard!

Bob didn't reflect long on the this and the question of the Doctor's syringe and agreed to await his medical supplies until I had eaten breakfast. However since I was up and now wide awake he suggested I might make use of the time by posting  "Distant Hills, Jordan", an oil on canvas from pre 2010. This was donated for sale by our area fundraiser for "Help for Heroes" earlier this year.
"Distant Hills, Jordan", an oil on canvas from pre 2010



Thursday 5 November 2015

Bob Has The Dreaded Lurgy!

I went to rouse Bob from his slumbers as he had not been seen for a while. The "Do Not Disturb" sign had been on his hotel room door for 3 mornings and there had been no calls for room service as far as I could tell. I was fairly certain he had not been out "Au clair de la lune" as there had been no reports of unruly behaviour in the city or it's environs.

As I approached the door there was a strong smell of peppermint oil and sounds of coughing and spluttering. Once inside Bob was quite a sight. he was wrapped in a muffler, woolly hat and only his head was showing above the bed covers. I enquired as what was the problem. His fur was all matted and clammy plus he was shaking with cold. This was odd as it was 22C in the shade given it was the South of France. Bob had decided that his condition was 2touch and go". I tried to point out that he was being a little over dramatic.

After some debate Bob insisted I summon a doctor before it was too late! I checked with the reception desk downstairs and they called Monsieur Docteur de la Morte who promised to call by as soon as possible. I reported back to Bob to confirm his request had been met. Luckily for all concerned Bob's knowledge of French is solely limited to placing orders for alcoholic drinks and essential food items such as honey, chocolate and ice cream etc.

The said doctor arrived and examined Bob. He carried out a detailed examination. After much head scratching he pronounced "Monsieur Le Curly Bob a "La Grippe de Nounour ". For those of our readers who have not had either the benefit of a full education or access to Google Translator, Curly Bob has "Bear Flu!"

Bob is allergic to antibiotics so the doc advised a hot toddy which in local terms would consist of a goodly measure of dark rum, honey and lemon juice. I promised to go and fetch these items after the doctor left. However there was the matter of the bill to be paid. The white card I carry in the EU doesn't apply to bears. Bob said that was descrimination. He was further enraged when the doc gave him the bill. Bob was under the impression that they were exchanging phone numbers! 

Much discussion took place resulting that Bob put his paw down and flatly refused to be ripped off by some French quack! Clearly this was not a good idea. The doc produced a giant syringe, rubber tubing and muttered something about irrigation and even my limited French told me that he was not talking about watering the garden.

The doc also pointed out that his name was really a nickname and he would be happy to demonstrate why. I interceded quickly and offered my credit card which did the trick. The doc left happy and Bob lived to create mayhem another day.

The exertions of the morning have worn him out. Before downing several doses of the recommended medication  and subsequently taking his daily nap, Bob asked me to post "Winter Storm, Black Point #2" oil on canvas from circa 2008.



Sunday 1 November 2015

Fast Asleep

Bob is taking a very long nap after his exertions in Amsterdam and the train ride down to the South of France.
I am taking the chance to post some of my back catalogue  and hopefully be up to date by Christmas.
Therefore I present to you "Maya",  a work in oil on canvas from 2010. It was based on a documentary I saw many years ago tracing the history of the Mayan people.


Friday 30 October 2015

He's Here At Last

Bob arrived in Avignon at long last. He contacted me using his new paws friendly IPhone and asked me to meet him at the TGV station.

His train arrived on time but there was no sign of Bob. I had visions of him being carted off to Marseille which is not a good place to be for a young bear to be. ( You have got to be joking!...Ed)
Therefore I boarded the train in case he needed help with any luggage. I could hear music coming from the bar and cafe so I made my way upstairs quickly.

My fears were groundless. Bob was sat on the bar surrounded by a group of very attracitve( i.e. hot!) ladies who were hanging on his every word. He  was surrounded by an even greater amount of empty wine & beer bottles. Bob wasn't for leaving so I yanked him off by his ear which he had so nearly lost in the Yucatan last year. Bob was less than impressed by this unseemly exit and the loss of face it could entail.

However, when I explained that Avignon is surrounded by vineyards and has dozens of restaurants and bars, not to mention an abundance of attractive females, he cheered up no end. Apparently he had no luggage apart from his satchel, IPad and his overnight bag.

I managed to smuggle him into his/our room without the management spotting him. Many of the staff at the hotel remember his infamous escape from the hotel, last year, using knotted bedsheets. I hope having him in the same room as me will curb some of his social excesses in the furpots of this peaceful Provencale city.

Once inside Bob headed for his bed for his afternoon siesta. Before dozing off he asked me to post another painting. Therefore we present " Village Andalucia", oil on canvas from before 2011.


Saturday 24 October 2015

Still No Sign of Bob

Despite promises to the contrary Curly Bob has not put in an appearance in Avignon where I am waiting for him. This is not such a bad thing as we are staying at the same hotel as last year and regular readers of this blog will remember there was a certain amount of confusion concerning the bar and accommodation bill. (i.e. They were both unpaid) This resulted in bob spending some time in the local pokey. I am not unduly worried as the route taken by the train runs down the Rhone valley which is renowned for having some of the finest vineyards in the world and we are fast approaching the wine harvest.

This morning my in box contained a directive to post material from 2013 and earlier to clear the way for my more recent efforts. I have taken an executive decision to post material on a more regular basis to enable me to clear the backlog.



Friday 16 October 2015

New Work On Show At Botany Bay This Weekend!

This is my latest painting of a well known local landmark. It is called "Winter Hill, Evening Mist". It is an acrylic painting on canvas at 60cm x 50cm. It is not framed but is finished on all four edges so you can hang it as it is or have it framed to suit your decor.
It is on sale at Botany Bay Mill Shopping Centre, Canal Mill, Chorley, PR6 9AF and can be viewed on the third floor landing of the north facing staircase.


For details of Botany Bay see http://www.botanybay.co.uk/

All feedback welcome and I answer all enquiries as soon as I can. 
vanbear7@gmail.com